Uncertain Middles-Q's Wishes
by MuseandMe2
Summary: Continuation of the Uncertain Middles series. Kathryn and Chakotay are dealing with the aftermath of their respective ordeals with Cullah and Seska until Q arrives with a dilemma and a potential solution that may solve everything. But will unintended consequences and another life altering decision by Kathryn force them apart forever?
1. Chapter 1

Two weeks had passed since Chakotay and Kathryn had reunited on Voyager. The ship had resumed its journey towards the Alpha Quadrant and the crew, including its command team, was trying to return to life as normal.

Chakotay and Kathryn spent every minute they could together. They took comfort in each other's company but Chakotay was careful to read her emotions which seemed scattered after her experience with Cullah and the rest of the Kazon.

Chakotay himself alternated between blind rage and the intense guilt that rose in him each time he thought of what she had gone through. He tried to dismiss his thoughts about Kathryn only to find them replaced with his own issues about Seska. Each time he revisited those moments, he shuddered and tried to push away the feeling of complete and utter helplessness they brought back.

The next day, Kathryn accepted his dinner invitation and arrived at his quarters in a simple dress much like she had worn on the planet where they had been marooned.

"You look beautiful," he said.

She shivered under his gaze and looked around. "You've cleaned up."

He smiled and said, "I replaced most of what I broke."

"That's good." She stepped inside and noticed the candlelit table set for two.

He watched her carefully and said, "You don't need to do this if you're not ready."

Kathryn ran her hands up and down her arms and said, "No, I want to do this. I need to."

Chakotay saw the hope in her eyes and he knew she was desperately trying to replace her bad experiences with positive ones but wasn't quite sure how to do it. Despite her earlier declaration to resume their romantic relationship, she was still distant during intimate moments like this one.

He guided her to the table and held her chair as she sat. She murmured a thank you and he knelt beside her. "I love you," he whispered.

She placed a hand on his cheek. "I love you too."

"Kathryn, I need to say something."

She pulled her hand away and said, "Please stop apologizing. Let's just get started. I'm famished and you're a good cook."

Chakotay slowly rose and walked over to his chair. "The replicator thanks you," he said as he sat. "Though truthfully, I kind of miss your tomato soup."

She remembered the soup she had made from the tomatoes that had survived the plasma storm on the planet. He had gently wiped a bit from her mouth before the table had been cleared and she and Chakotay had spent their first passionate night together. It was the happiest she had been since they had arrived in the Delta Quadrant. She glanced over at the man she had fallen in love with that day and knew she wanted and needed to return to what they had been there.

She leaned over the table and he met her halfway as they kissed. The place settings and utensils clinked as they moved closer and a candle flickered as it got knocked aside. Chakotay jumped back and put it out as it fell.

Kathryn frowned. "Please don't burn my ship. We have enough repair work going on as it is."

"Forget the ship. We need to get back to us."

She nodded as she sat back down. "I want that, Chakotay. I really do."

"Kathryn, please, let me say this. I need to say it." He watched her close her mouth before he sat back and said, "I brought Seska into our lives. She was a member of my crew that you inherited."

She shook her head. "You didn't know what she was."

"I should have known. I should have known a lot of things, like Tuvok and Tom. I think I was one of the few people actually working for the Maquis on that ship." He watched her smile and said, "I should never have gone after her that day. I should have realized it was a trap to seize control of Voyager again."

"I chose to go after you on my own," she said. "Besides, how do you not go after your own child?"

"He wasn't mine."

"You didn't know that at the time."

"I should have. I should have known a lot of things again." Chakotay rubbed his face. "I'm just not smart about reading people's true intentions."

"Chakotay, you lead with your heart. That's a trait I don't want you to lose. And you read people well. You study anthropology. How could you not? People fascinate you and you care about each and every person you meet."

"And I hurt them, or disappoint them, or worse. Or others suffer. Like you did."

Kathryn watched him put his head down. "It's not your fault about what happened to me. It's part of what can happen on the job. You and I both went through the Academy training. And it wasn't just me. You went through the same thing with Seska."

Chakotay looked up. "I read the Doctor's reports. I know he beat you. Seska was at least nice about it."

Kathryn took a deep breath at his candid words and looked away. She grabbed her glass and drained it. The cool liquid soothed her tight throat. "I, um, I really don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Kathryn, you have to."

"No, I don't," she said firmly.

"Yes, you do." He came around the table and dragged his chair over so he could sit and face her. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there to pull him off of you. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there to drag him away and make him stop hurting you."

"Stop it!" Kathryn covered her face and put her head down on the table. "I can't do this."

Chakotay watched her cry and rubbed her back. "I wish I could go back in time and make it all go away for you. Make it so it never happened."

Kathryn settled and said, "If you could do that, then we could go home. But it wouldn't work. What's meant to happen does. We tried to go home with the wormhole. It didn't work." She lifted her tear streaked face and said, "No, I'm a Starfleet captain."

"You're a human being."

"I was trained for this." She shook her head. "It's not even the first time it's happened."

"What?"

She watched the shock register on his face and said, "It was on one of my first missions. We were trying to find information on Cardassian…" She stopped and gave a soft laugh. "Sounds familiar doesn't it? I guess Cardassians are meant to be my nemesis. They say every captain has one. They must be mine." Wiping her tears, she said, "I've told you this before. Besides, it doesn't matter. We have to get this ship home. We need to move on. I did before and I will again." She patted his hand. "And besides, this time, I have you."

Chakotay gave her a worried look. "Who did you have before?"

"My first fiancé. That's how we became close. He rescued me then. Just like you're trying to do now."

"Kathryn," he said, brushing a strand of her hair from her face. "Let's rescue each other."

She nodded. "Agreed. Can we eat now?"

"No."

She blew out her breath and said, "Chakotay, I can't dwell on this. It happened and I need to move past it. I can't change it. I survived it and I have more important things to accomplish."

"_We_ have more important things to accomplish."

She acknowledged his firm look and repeated, "We." Her fingers lingered against his cheek. "You know, it doesn't help that every time you look at me…" Her voice broke and she looked away. "Chakotay, be honest with me. Every time you look at me, you see him don't you? You see Cullah. Will you always see him?"

Chakotay's face softened and he drew her into his chest. "No. Not for one second. When I look at you, I only see the woman I love and always will until the day I die. Do you understand that?"

She nodded tearfully.

"No, don't give me that. Do you really understand what I just said to you?"

Kathryn inhaled deeply and nodded again. "I believe you."

He smiled. "Good." He gave her a tight hug and said, "Now, you be honest with me. Do you see Seska when you look at me?"

Kathryn snuggled and said, "Sometimes." She felt him tense and added, "And I always just want to beat her smug, arrogant ugly Cardassian face."

Chakotay couldn't help but laugh a little. She sat up and added, "I mean it. I want that witch dead."

"I know. Me too."

Kathryn looked at him and asked, "That's really the truth for you too, isn't it? You were just being nice. You do see Cullah when you look at me."

Chakotay kissed her forehead and said, "Sometimes. I confess I have spent more time fantasizing about his death than I have about you and me together again. And I prefer to do the latter."

"Me too." Her eyes spied a new carving sitting on the table behind him. Pointing, she asked, "What's that?"

Chakotay rose and walked over to pick up the small figurine and bring it back to her. "Do you like it?"

She smiled as she fingered the large feathered bird spreading his wings to rise from a mound. "A phoenix. You carved this?"

He nodded.

"How appropriate," she murmured.

He put his arm around her again and she settled back against him. "I thought so," he said. Kathryn was silent as she continued to study it and he added, "We'll be okay."

Her eyes closed as she answered, "Yes, Chakotay, we will."


	2. Chapter 2

Voyager sped on its way for the long journey back to the Alpha Quadrant at high warp. After so much time lost to bug bites and Kazons, Janeway was trying to make some of it up. She and Chakotay, after their dinner, had settled into a more comfortable professional companionship on board the bridge. They both agreed at the end of the night that, after recent events, they both needed time to heal themselves before they came back together as a pure romantic couple.

Janeway sat in her captain's chair reviewing some reports until she felt the ship's speed slow. "Mr. Paris, is there a problem?"

Tom punched up the view screen and an asteroid field could be seen directly in front of the ship. "Several actually."

"Can we move around it?"

"Yes, but I'm detecting something in one of the larger asteroids."

"Define something, Mr. Paris."

Tom worked the helm and said, "I think I'm detecting a life form inside."

Janeway rose from her chair. "What kind of life form?"

"I'm not sure." Tom spun around to Harry. "Can you get a read on it?"

"No," Harry replied. "It's not registering in any of our data banks."

"I think something's trapped," Tom said.

The Captain shook her head. "Well, I'm not freeing something when I don't know exactly what it is or what it's capable of. Can we get any more information on it?"

"None that I can make any sense of," Tom replied.

Harry nodded. "Affirmed."

Janeway looked at Tuvok. "What do you think, Mr. Tuvok? Shall we just leave well enough alone?"

"Given our past history of encounters with alien species, I would advise we 'leave well enough alone' as you would say, Captain."

Janeway nodded. "Tom, take us around the asteroid belt. Whatever it is or may or may not be will be a mystery for someone else to take on."

"Aye, Captain."

Tom flew the ship around the belt and started to thread Voyager through the asteroids floating in space. Janeway watched for a few moments before she sat and went back to her report reviews. A flash of light distracted her and a man dressed in a Starfleet uniform appeared on her bridge.

Janeway shot up and Tuvok drew his weapon as they both stared at the stranger who had appeared from thin air. "Who are you?" she demanded. "How did you get aboard my ship?"

"Ah, Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Intrepid Starship Voyager. And I thought Jean-Luc's sidekick would get this gig. I guess Starfleet in its infinite wisdom decided that you could wear the pants better?" The man took a long look at Janeway.

She glared and said, "And you are?"

"I am Q. And you are a long way from home. I suspect those pants are a wee bit big at this point, are they not?"

"Q? I've heard about your appearances on the Enterprise."

Q's hand flew to his chest. "You've heard about moi? I'm honored."

"Don't be. I've heard you're a pest."

"I resent that! Who said that? Jean-Luc? He loves me and you will too once you get to know me."

"I think I'll pass, thank you." Janeway walked away and sat down in her chair. "If you don't mind, I'm busy."

Q shrugged. "That's it? You have the honor of meeting a Q and this is your reaction? I take it back. Your pants shouldn't be on at all."

Janeway jumped back up and pointed. "Get off my ship! Now!"

"Touchy, touchy. Why the hostility? I've seen Jean-Luc naked. It's not a pretty sight. But I can tell even in that ugly uniform you would be a sight better."

Janeway's hand shook as she dropped it. Before she could respond, she saw Chakotay come from the ready room and grab Q's uniform. He pulled Q to him and said, "Don't you even think about touching her."

"Who said anything about touching her and what is that all over your face?"

Chakotay snarled. "You lay one hand on her and I will kill you."

"An impossible feat. I am Q. I am immortal. Now, unhand me before I show you how mortal you are."

Janeway stepped between them and laid her hands on Chakotay. "Chakotay, let him go. He won't hurt me. He's just a nuisance."

"Nuisance?" Q said. "I protest again! Most species demand the pleasure of my company."

"Well not this one," she answered.

"You know him?" Chakotay asked.

"Of him. This is Q," Janeway said.

"Q? Never heard of him."

Q gave him a hurt look which Janeway shook her head at. "Well, brush up, Commander. The Starship Enterprise logs. Q is a pesky but relatively harmless species. Although he was the one who introduced us to the Borg. Thank you very much for that."

Chakotay released Q and Q made a point of straightening his uniform. "You're welcome," Q said. "They would have come for you eventually. I just hastened the process." He pointed a finger at Janeway. "You, however, have come directly to their home. Now who's the nuisance?"

Janeway's face paled. She knew the Borg were a possibility in the Delta Quadrant especially after finding a body that appeared to be Borg on an earlier planet. She had hoped it was an indication that all Borg were extinct in this quadrant but it seemed Q had just abolished that dream.

"Now," Q said. "I suggest you call off your brute of a First Officer here and listen to me. You may be very interested in what I have to say. I may even be able to send you home."

Janeway's breath caught and she felt the rapt attention of her crew on her and the new visitor aboard ship. "Okay, you now have my complete attention."

Q brushed at his uniform again and said, "What is it with Starfleet First Officers? Is it regulation that they manhandle guests? At least Riker has more manners."

"Q," Janeway warned. "If you have something to say to me, say it. Otherwise, get off my ship."

Another flash of light appeared on the bridge and another man, blonder but dressed in the same Starfleet command uniform, stood in front of them. He took a deep breath and said, "I'm free! Thank you! Thank you, Captain! I'm free!"

Q scowled. "Great! Just great! Leave it to a woman to always create the mess we Q have to clean up!"

Janeway looked at the second man and said, "Who are you?"

"I am Q."

Chakotay looked at Janeway and said, "Another one? You know him too?"

Janeway shook her head and the man said, "I am afraid I haven't been able to meet anyone for a very long time." He pointed at Q and said, "They have imprisoned me for the past millennium."

"Millennium?" Janeway said. She looked at the first Q and said, "What did this man do?"

"He is not a man. He is a Q. A man would not survive a millennium incarcerated in an asteroid and he knows perfectly well why he was there and why he will go back. Immediately."

"Well, enlighten me," Janeway said. "What did this Q do to earn such a deprivation of his liberty? He couldn't have killed someone. You're immortal."

Q eyed the second Q and said, "Well, not yet."

"Yet," Chakotay repeated. "What's that supposed to mean?"

The second Q stepped forward and said, "The Continuum incarcerated me because I have a death wish."

"A death wish?" Janeway said.

The second Q nodded. "Oh don't worry. I only wish to kill myself."

"What?" Chakotay said. "I thought you can't die?"

"He can't," Q said. "Not unless he makes himself mortal."

"And I intend to do just that," the second Q said.

"You see?" Q looked at Janeway. "We had to lock him up for his own good! He kept trying to end his own existence! It's unconscionable! We're Q. One of our main tenets is that we exist!"

"Captain?"

Janeway looked at the second Q.

"I formally request asylum aboard your ship."

Q scoffed. "You can't do that."

Tuvok stepped forward and said, "Actually he can. Any sentient life form may request asylum from a Starfleet vessel and the Captain does have the authority to grant it."

Everyone looked at Janeway who put her head down to consider the Q's request. Finally, she looked up and said, "Actually, the proper procedure is to have a hearing to see if asylum is warranted."

Q rushed over to her but Chakotay stopped him and backed him up. "You can't do that! You have no authority over the Q!" he said.

Janeway put her hands on her hips and said, "As long as you are aboard this ship, you are under my authority."

"Well, I can solve that problem right now." Q snapped his fingers but nothing happened. "What the…"

The other Q giggled. "It's the easiest trick in the book. I can't believe you still fall for it after a millennium. You're slipping Q."

Q turned and said, "Maybe I should just let you kill yourself."

"No one is killing anyone," Janeway said.

"Actually, that may be a very good idea," the second Q said. "It would solve everyone's problem, wouldn't it?" The second Q snapped his fingers and every man on the bridge disappeared except for the two Qs.

Janeway whirled around. "Where are the male members of my crew?"

Q flicked a thumb toward the second one and folded his arms. "He just killed them."

"Oh dear," the second Q said. "I'm afraid I'm a bit out of practice."

Janeway marched over to the second Q and said, "Bring them back! I need my crew, Q! Bring them back now!"

"Oh please," Q said. "Don't be getting all hysterical. Women." Q snapped his fingers and Chakotay, Tom, Tuvok and the others returned.

Chakotay blinked and said, "What just happened?"

Janeway shook her head. "You don't want to know." She saw Q raise his hand again and ordered, "Do nothing!"

"Excuse me?" Q said.

She turned to the other Q and looked between them. "Neither one of you will use any powers while on board my ship. Is that clear?"

"Agreed," the second Q said.

Janeway looked at Q who pouted and stomped a foot. "You really are a shrew. More proof women do not make good leaders."

"Raise another finger against my ship or my crew and you'll find out just how good of a leader I can be. I know some of Jean-Luc's tricks. You may be able to work this magic but I'll bet I can contain it and you better than you think I can."

Q grinned. "Oooh, Kathy, I'm intrigued. And in a way Jean Luc never did for me."

"Your ignorance of our species is astounding for someone who is supposed to be omnipotent."

"Does that mean I get my spanking now?"

Janeway ignored Q's remark and turned to the other one. "You may remain on board this ship until the hearing. You will be confined to quarters until I can determine if it is safe for you to be elsewhere. You will do nothing with any digit you possess or I will revoke your permission to temporarily stay here and I will not entertain your asylum plea. Do I make myself clear?"

Q smiled. "Perfectly, Captain. I accept your terms. I do not wish to be a bother. I only wish to rest, permanently."

Janeway sighed. "If I grant you asylum, you don't mean you would still go through with this suicide?"

Q nodded. "Yes, Captain. That's exactly what I plan to do. I'll take it off your ship though. I wouldn't want you to be witness to that."

Q walked over to the two of them and said, "Well, well, Captain. You see? Grant his application for asylum and he'll just end his life. And you will be responsible for it. Can you be party to killing an omnipotent being?"

"She would not kill me," the second Q said. "I would kill myself."

Q kept his eyes on Janeway. "Only because she allowed it."

Janeway looked at Chakotay who offered no answers in his silence. She was distracted from his gaze as Q bent down and whispered, "Let me take him and put him back in the asteroid where he belongs. Place him back before you came along and jimmied him loose with your incessant scans and probes. Then you can be on your way, back home, to the Alpha Quadrant."

Janeway looked at Q. "What does that mean?"

Q smiled and straightened. "I already told you. Give me Q now and I'll send you back home. All the way."

"You can't do that," the second Q said.

Q gave him an annoyed look. "I can and I will."

"That's forbidden. You would need the Continuum's permission."

"The Continuum loves me. I don't need anyone's permission!" The other Q scoffed as Q added, "Tempting, isn't it, Kathy? Think of everything you've already been through. What's yet to come if you stay here? You won't survive an encounter with the Borg all alone if you stay in the Delta Quadrant. It's certain death."

"What a lovely idea," the second Q said.

Q waved him off and said, "I know about what happened between you and the Kazon. What you went through. What happened on that planet between you and your First Officer." He watched Janeway's emotion and said, "Don't worry. Your secrets are safe with me, for now."

Janeway's eyes met his. "What do you want, Q?"

"You know what I want. This situation is not your problem. It's a Q issue that we will deal with as we see fit. That's Rule Numero Uno of your precious Starfleet book, isn't it? The Prime Directive or something about not involving yourself in other's affairs? I know you violated it once before. It's why you're here all alone. Are you ready to make the same mistake twice?"

She flinched under his words but said, "You want me to sacrifice this man's life for an expedient trip home?"

"I want you to save this Q's life by not allowing him to end his existence. He has no right to do that."

Janeway looked away. Once again, she was faced with the decision to take her crew home or to sacrifice them and their futures for another species' well-being. Did she have the right to do it a second time? Q laid out their possible future if they stayed in the Delta Quadrant. Janeway already knew the odds of getting home were against them. The opportunity to make it all go away was right here, again. She recognized it. But should she take it? They would all go home. To families. Her family. Starfleet. She would have a chance to resume the same or similar life she had had before. Everyone would.

Janeway glanced around at her crew as they waited for her answer. Tuvok, placid as always, was no help but she knew even he missed his family's presence. Harry, so fresh out of the academy, deserved his life back. It was just beginning. Tom needed to show his father that he can and did make something out of himself in just a few short months. Admiral Paris would be so proud.

Her eyes moved across each and every crew member. Every single one with a compelling reason to go home. Her eyes settled last on her First Officer. Instead of the expectant, hopeful expressions of the others, Chakotay's face was sad and she instinctively knew what he was thinking. She knew she was in his thoughts somewhere but she also knew that he and the rest of the Maquis would return home as prisoners, not welcomed back like the others. She would lose him and his company and his talks and… Her thoughts raced and her heartache was palpable when she thought about not seeing Chakotay every day.

B'Elanna, another one who had made good, might go back to the bitter angry woman Janeway had first met when she got home and was stripped of her job and title. Ayala and the others would return to the Maquis or worse after serving their sentences or completing whatever punishment Starfleet handed out. To them, making the decision to go home meant condemnation and certain incarceration. Still, they had families they loved and wanted to see again.

"Decisions, decisions," Q said. He patted her butt and she jumped. "How do the pants really fit, Captain?"

Q was yanked away by Chakotay. "I told you not to touch her!"

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Q said. "Unhand me. Now!"

"Chakotay," Janeway said. "Let him go."

Chakotay tossed him aside and stood next to the Captain. Pointing, he said, "Touch her again and I won't let go next time. Orders or not!"

"Well let's hope there's not going to be a next time since time's up! What's your choice, Kathy?"

"It's Captain," Chakotay said.

Janeway laid a hand on Chakotay's arm and said, "I think we need to talk about this."

"No more talk!" Q said. "This is what you signed up for when you claimed that seat. Come now, Kathy, Jean-Luc would have given me an answer by now. What's your choice? Home in time for beddy-bye with the fiancé or shall we try our luck with the perils of the Delta Quadrant which will include an entire contingent of Borg?"

Chakotay glanced at her and took her hand. Squeezing it, he nodded and said, "You know what the answer is."

Janeway's eyes pleaded with his until she looked back at Q and took a few steps. As she pulled away from Chakotay, she said, "Q, I will not be bullied on my own ship. I don't know what it is about the Delta Quadrant where every male species think they have the right to dictate to me about my life and the lives of my crew."

"Kathryn," Chakotay said.

"Silence, Commander!"

The crew looked on stunned as their Captain marched at Q who took a step back. "I'm tired of being manhandled by you and every other so called superior being that thinks they can just flash in here or board my ship and take it and me over! It's not happening, Q! Not again!"

"Well, you're a plucky little thing, aren't you? And I thought they had training for the stress of this job. Or are the female captains exempt during a certain period of the month?"

Janeway's hand shot out and she slapped Q across the face. It landed with a crack against his cheek and he reeled back. "Talk to me like that again and it'll get worse for you."

"Um, Captain," Tom said. "I think maybe you better take a breath."

"Actually, Tom, I think Q and I are beginning to understand one another. Aren't we?"

Q rubbed his cheek and said, "Jean-Luc never hit me. This is an outrage!"

"I expect you never disrespected Captain Picard in the same manner you've disrespected me."

"Not true. I've insulted him many times. Riker at least a hundred times more and Worf? Well, don't get me started. Klingons are just too easy, aren't they?"

"Apparently as easy as female captains."

The second Q cleared his throat and said, "I hate to interrupt a good dressing down especially since I see Q's manners have not improved with his age." Q glared at him as he continued. "But I would like to know where I am going to be in the next few minutes. Imprisoned for all eternity or free so I can complete my mission?"

"Mission?" Q said. "You're almost as pompous as her." He backed away from the captain. "An observation. Not an insult. But he does have a point. Despite your uppity, hysterical nature, the choice is still yours. Go home or stay and fight for as many days as you have left?"

Janeway looked down. After a few moments, she said quietly, "Take us home, Q."

Q grinned as the other one looked disappointed. He watched as Janeway turned to him and said, "I'd leave now if I were you. He has to catch you first to put you back in prison. And I suspect you have hiding places he's never even seen."

The second Q's disappointment turned to glee as he smiled and said, "Thank you, Captain! I won't forget this." And with a snap, he was gone.

Q stomped his feet. "Now look at what you've done!"

"I made the choice," she said. "Send us home, Q, now!"

Q looked at her and said, "But he's not back in the asteroid."

"That's your problem, not mine. Send us back now. Or are you not a Q of your word?"

Q looked around at the expectant faces and said, "Of course I am." His fingers snapped and he disappeared.

Janeway looked around at her crew and they scrambled back to their stations. "Report!" she said.

Tom looked at the helm and said, "Captain, we're back."

Janeway tried to stop trembling. "Back where, Mr. Paris?"

He spun around in his chair and said, "Captain, we're home."


	3. Chapter 3

Harry opened a channel and standard Starfleet chatter flooded the bridge. Janeway couldn't keep back a few stray tears and she wiped them away before she looked back at Chakotay. He had his head down and did not look up.

"Chakotay," she called.

Chakotay didn't look at her. He simply shook his head and walked towards the lift. "I'll inform the rest of the crew."

Janeway watched as the lift doors opened and he disappeared from the bridge.

"Captain?"

Janeway turned back to Tom. "Yes, Mr. Paris?"

Tom gave her a half smile as he struggled to contain his own emotions. "We're being hailed by Starfleet."

Janeway nodded her encouragement to him and said, "On screen."

Admiral Paris flashed on the view screen and his shocked expression softened as he saw his son at the helm. "I…I had to see it to believe it. How did you? Where did you…?"

"It will all be in my report, sir," Janeway said.

Admiral Paris nodded and said, "Welcome home, Captain. We thought you were lost."

"It's good to be home, Admiral." She laid a hand on Tom's shoulder. "They'll be a glowing report in there about your son. It's been an honor to have him serve aboard my ship."

Admiral Paris looked at Tom. "Is that so?"

"Yes, it is. And I also found the Maquis ship I was assigned to retrieve."

"You're kidding."

"No, sir. There will be equally glowing reports about that crew as well."

"Glowing? Maquis? I can't wait to hear it. I'll have security meet you to take them all into custody. You may make Admiral out of all this, Captain Janeway."

Janeway stepped away from Tom. "Sir, I don't think you understand. I don't want the former Maquis members to be taken into custody. They are now members of my crew. I believe you'll understand after you read my report. Please…"

"Former Maquis? Captain, they are fugitives who are under indictment. Whatever plea you wish to make on their behalf, I guarantee we will hear. But they are criminals and will be treated as such."

Janeway stiffened. "With all due respect, Admiral, they are not criminals until they are convicted in a court of law. I am not aware of any such proceedings unless you have done them in absentia."

"Captain, we'll discuss this at your debriefing."

"No, Admiral, we'll discuss this now."

"Excuse me?"

Janeway took a deep breath and said, "Give me time to write my report. Read it. Then board my ship. I need time to inform my crew that we've arrived home and I'm sure they'll need some time to take it all in. They have, we've all been through a lot. They are an exemplary crew, all of them, including the former Maquis and they deserve to be treated as such. Owen, I would think you would rather put your arms around your son first thing rather than see him be led away by a security team, would you not?"

Admiral Paris looked at Tom who still hadn't met his father's eyes. "Yes. Yes, that's exactly what I would like to do. And I will. He is not Maquis. He will be granted his leave after completing his observer mission."

Tom looked up and Janeway said, "Thank you."

"You have two hours to update your logs, Captain. Transmit what you have to me now. I'll quarantine Voyager until then. No one will bother you but you will be guarded and escorted to the space station. I'm sure your ship could use some repairs?"

"Yes, but my two hours first."

Admiral Paris nodded. "Two hours."

His face disappeared and Tom looked up at her. "You have quite a mouth on you today, Captain, haven't you?"

Janeway gave him her best command stare and he shrunk back in his seat. "As do you, Mr. Paris. Make sure no one moves against our ship, got it?"

"Aye, Captain."

"Good. We'll celebrate together later. Harry, transmit my logs to Starfleet. Tuvok, prepare the crew for standard docking and debriefing procedures. Inform them they are to be honest and up front about everything. There is nothing and no one to protect here."

Tuvok nodded. "Understood, Captain." As Janeway turned to her ready room, he added, "Captain, I did support your call to destroy the array. And I believe most of the crew will also support that decision."

Janeway smiled. "Thank you, Tuvok. I appreciate that."

Chakotay made the rounds informing the crew that the familiar stars they saw outside were just that. A true view of home. Celebrations had broken out all over the ship. While most of them did not know how or why they had come home so quickly, many of them simply didn't care and rushed to their quarters to prepare to see their loved ones again.

Chakotay finally found himself alone outside his quarters. Looking across the hall, his eyes found the Captain's quarters and memories flooded his mind. His first sight of her commanding her bridge. The suspicion they had both wrestled with as they struggled to find a workable balance between them. The first Kazon mutiny. Kathryn tending to him on the barren planet. Their rescue. The wormhole trip back here that had ended in them going their separate ways and losing touch only to find themselves reunited again in the Delta Quadrant. The time they had spent together on the planet. Their baby. The loss of that child and then the unspeakable acts she had endured because of him and his ties to Seska that had led to the second taking of Voyager and of her at the hands of Cullah. They had fought their way back from so much and now, with one word, she had gotten them home and fulfilled her ultimate promise to the crew.

Chakotay took a deep breath and entered his quarters. He looked around at the last place she had been. They had spoken so candidly about healing from the most recent Kazon attack and now he wondered if she would ever sit and look at him that way again. Probably not, he thought. He would be behind bars as soon as Voyager docked. He had prepared the other Maquis members for it and had a half formed plan in his mind to possibly overpower the security team and hijack a Starfleet ship to return back to his fight.

His door chimed and he called, "Come."

He was shocked as Captain Janeway walked through the door. "Kathryn."

"Did you think I wouldn't come?"

"To say goodbye? Yes, but I thought I'd be in cuffs at that point."

She walked over. "I asked Admiral Paris to read my report first. Before he makes a very wrong decision. You are members of my crew and I told him I expected you to be treated as the valuable, loyal members you are. "

Chakotay's brow arched. "Loyal? That's almost funny."

Janeway frowned. "It's true and I told Admiral Paris so."

Chakotay placed his hand on her shoulder. "Thank you for trying to save me."

"I don't have to save you. You can save yourself. You already did by taking care of me and this crew."

"I'm sure that's exactly how they'll see it when they read I was responsible for two mutinies."

Janeway saw his eyes darken and his arm dropped as he walked away. "Hey." She walked with him and said, "Stop that! You stop it right now! We already talked about this. What happened was no one's fault but Seska and Cullah's. That's it!"

Chakotay bit his lip. "Some others may see it differently."

"Well, I don't! And anyone that does will have to answer to me since I'm the one who went through it. All of it!" She took his chin and forced him to look at her. "Listen to me. You will not sacrifice yourself for me any longer. I will not allow that!"

"It's not sacrifice, Kathryn. It's punishment. I always knew that if we got back home I would face Starfleet's punishment according to their rules and regulations. Luckily, I've had you for the past year to remind me of most of them. Going before the Admirals should be a piece of cake."

She frowned at his attempt at humor and said, "Chakotay, we'll get through this. I won't let them do anything to you that you don't deserve." He broke into a wide smile at her words and she matched his grin. "That's not what I meant."

Chakotay grew somber and he took her by the shoulders again. "Kathryn, listen to me. You will not sacrifice your career for me. I won't allow that. You are a hero for bringing this ship and its crew home."

"With your help. I didn't do it alone, Chakotay."

He shook his head. "They don't care."

"I'll make them care."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter! It's the truth! And we will deal with the truth at every debriefing or this is not the career I want to have!"

Chakotay's heart soared with her passionate defense of him. But he shook her slightly and said, "Kathryn, don't do this. I'm begging you. Your fiancé is probably waiting right now for you. You have your life back. Go back to it. Forget me. This is where you belong."

Janeway's breath grew rapid and her heart raced at his words. "No," she finally said. "No."

"Kathryn," he said.

"No," she said firmly. "We did that. When you and I were back here before and I went back to Mark. It wasn't the same."

"It wasn't the same because you had memories of months he hadn't experienced. You were away from him, lost in the Delta Quadrant. He never knew that. This time he does. The two of you will share that this time. It will be different and he'll appreciate and cherish you more than, more than…" Chakotay ran his hand up her cheek and cupped her face.

"Chakotay," she said. "Please don't do this."

"You owe it to him to at least say hello. You and I, we got so caught up with this ship with our lives so contained on one tiny vessel. Now, thanks to you, we have the whole galaxy again. And you need to return to it and him and see if you can…"

Kathryn shook her head. "I know what you're doing but I also know what I want."

"Kathryn, we both need to face our pasts and be honest to them. After that, maybe, if it's meant to be, we'll find our way back to each other. We always seem to, lately, at least."

Kathryn's eyes filled with tears and she covered his hand with hers. "Please don't do this. I don't want to go back to Mark. I want to move forward with you."

Chakotay smiled and his own eyes dampened. "I waited so long for you to say that to me. You did once on the planet because you were scared and alone. And you feel that way now because our whole world has upended itself again. You'll be okay. We'll all be okay. You're the strongest person I know. And I'm not a bad second. So don't worry about me. Go. Be happy."

Her tears spilled down her cheeks and he wiped some of them away with his thumb. "Hey, I'm not going anywhere. In fact, you'll probably know where I am, exactly where I am, for a very long time."

Kathryn sniffed. "Not if I have anything to say about it."

Chakotay leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"No," she said. "Say goodbye to me, properly."

He read her face and said, "Are you sure?"

She nodded and he whispered, "I'm not saying goodbye to you." He kissed her softly. She grabbed onto him and they both gasped with their desperate need for one another. Chakotay moved them towards the couch. Kathryn quickly divested herself of her uniform and Chakotay watched her as he leaned back and she sat astride him, trying to rid him of his.

"Wait," he said.

She stopped and said, "Why? You don't want to do this?"

"No, that's not it. Are you sure you are ready to do this?"

She leaned down and kissed him. Pulling back, she said, "Yes, I'm fine. Please. We don't have much time."

He grinned and said, "I don't care. You still deserve to be treated like a lady." Gently, he pushed her back and stood up. Sweeping her off her feet, he cradled her in his arms and took her into his bedroom where they collapsed on the bed and shared their passionate love.


	4. Chapter 4

Over the next few days, Janeway and her crew, with the exception of the Maquis, were inundated by press, well wishers, and the overjoyed excitement of their loved ones. Her mother and sister had embraced her with hugs and tears and then there was Mark. Mark had appeared with flowers and a small dog. One from the litter Molly had had when she was away.

Mark took her back to the home they had shared and planned to make a life in together. As she sat across from him at dinner that night, she struggled to taste her food and keep it down. Her uncomfortableness was palpable and Mark noticed it.

Folding his napkin, he finally said, "Are you this nervous because of me or is it just the stress of everything you've been through? I don't remember seeing you like this since our first date."

Kathryn smiled and said, "I'm sorry. It's just been a bit of a whirlwind."

"And a shock. You didn't expect this Q to just snap his fingers and send you back to us when you got up that morning, did you?"

She shook her head. "No. No, that was a serendipitous opportunity."

"And you took it."

"Of course. I stranded us there and to be offered the opportunity to get everyone back…I didn't have the right to say no again."

Mark leaned across and tried to take her hand. "I'm glad you said yes. I had just about given up on you. In fact, there is something I need to tell you."

Kathryn held her breath. "What?"

Mark struggled to find the words. "Kathryn, I grieved for you for months. I waited, wondering if you were out there somewhere and if you would eventually find your way back to me. Me and the other families campaigned and lobbied Starfleet for months to investigate. To keep looking. But eventually it was clear that you weren't coming home."

"And you met someone else."

Mark's eyes widened. "What? No. Of course not. I could never move on that fast. We were engaged to be married. We had a life that we planned. How could I move on that quickly?"

Kathryn choked and her heart raced as her anticipated relief quickly became a plague of guilt. Looking away, she said, "Mark, I wouldn't have blamed you if you had. I would understand."

Mark sat back. "You would?" He read her face and added, "Oh, I see. You mean…you did."

Kathryn cleared her throat and hoped her trembling was just inside. "Did what?"

"You tell me."

They stared at one another as Mark waited for her reply. Kathryn fidgeted with her fork and finally said, "Mark, I love you. In the beginning, there wasn't a night that I didn't stare at your picture or talk to you or remember how much I loved you and how much I missed you."

"Past tense noted."

She met his cold stare again with pleading eyes. "I fought with my sadness and loneliness every day on that ship. Knowing that I cut myself and every member of my crew off from their loved ones, from their spouses, from their children… it was agony. I punished myself and will continue to punish myself for my decision to do that. I cost them a year away. It wasn't fair to them and it wasn't fair to their loved ones."

"I see. So part of your penance is breaking yourself off from me? You'll be lonely the rest of your life? Unloved? Because I won't let you do that, Kathryn. I love you. I waited for you."

"I know," she said quietly. "But I didn't." She flinched as he pulled away, pain evident in his eyes. "Even though I made it my mission to get us back home, I thought that, after all this time, you would have moved on. Considered me lost. You have to understand that I did not expect an omnipotent being to just whisk me back. I only saw years and decades ahead of me without ever seeing you again."

"I see." Mark rubbed his temple. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Voyager's a small ship. You lost half of the crew you knew when you got there. You're the Captain for crying out loud. Who replaced me so fast?"

Kathryn shook her head and reached for him. "Mark, no one replaced you. I loved you. I still do."

"Well apparently you love someone else more. Who is it?"

She put her head down and said, "You have to understand that it happened off the ship."

"Oh, so you were just passing by a planet and a Delta Quadrant man just happened to catch your eye?"

Kathryn frowned. "Don't speak to me like that."

Mark banged the table with his hand. "You're breaking my heart here, Kathryn! I'll speak to you any damn way I want! Now I want to know who! Who's the new guy? Who bested me?"

She took a deep breath and said, "I was bitten on an away mission by an insect. There was no cure for it. I couldn't leave the planet where it happened. I had to stay. If I had tried to leave, I would have died."

"How convenient."

Kathryn ignored his sarcasm and said, "It was a deserted planet. I ordered Voyager to go on without me. I asked my First Officer to take over command." She watched Mark who was listening with rapt attention. "But, he refused. He had already decided to leave the ship and was already living on the planet. He…he decided to stay with me."

"Did he? How touching and, again, convenient. Does this First Officer have a name?" Kathryn didn't answer. "No matter. I'll find out. So the two of you played house on this deserted planet? Your own private Garden of Eden? Have any kids while you were there to complete this cozy picture?"

Tears sprung into Kathryn's eyes and she dabbed at them with her napkin.

Mark rose from his seat. "Oh my god. You, you have a child with this man?"

She shook her head and waved him down. "No. No, the child was never born."

Mark slowly sat and said, "What does that mean?"

Kathryn looked at him and dashed a tear that ran down her cheek. "I never thought we were going to leave that place. You have to understand that. I didn't want it to be him at the time. He's a wonderful man and I knew he loved me but I wasn't ready for it. I loved you! We were alone and it all just happened so fast. I got caught up with someone in a world that I never thought I would leave."

"Until you did. So what happened? Obviously someone found a cure for you. This man save your life too?"

She shook her head. "No. The crew defied my orders and contacted a dangerous species, the Vidiians. They are biological scientists and they had the antidote."

Mark sighed. "And the baby?"

"I, I miscarried the day before the ship returned. There is no child."

"I see. So you went back to the ship. And this First Officer went with you?"

"Yes."

Mark shifted uncomfortably. "Did you two share quarters?"

Kathryn shook her head. "No. We remained professional. It wasn't appropriate for the command structure. It would have complicated things."

"I'll bet. Does Starfleet know about all of this?"

Kathryn took a breath. "About our personal relationship? No. Nothing. I left the child and everything that happened privately between the Commander and I out of my logs. It wasn't anyone's business but ours."

Mark pursed his lips. "And now mine. So does this Commander have a name?"

Kathryn fooled with her utensils. "His name is Chakotay."

Mark straightened. "Chakotay? He's one of the Maquis, isn't he? Their leader. You consorted with the enemy?"

"He's no enemy! When we arrived in the Delta Quadrant and the Maquis ship was lost, we banded together and became one crew, a Starfleet crew."

"How noble. Was that part of your speech?"

Kathryn gave him a hurt look. "You have no idea what we've been through, Mark."

"And you have no idea what I've been through, Kathryn! I lost the woman I loved more than my own life. I grieved for a year! Then I get the miracle that I prayed for every damn night and she sits here and tells me that she's been sleeping with her First Officer and conceived a child with him. How am I supposed to respond to all of that, Kathryn? Tell me! Because what I'm hearing is that I mean nothing to you anymore and this man is your future!" Mark paused and caught his breath. "Tell me, did you have one last fling with him before you came to see me? Do you have plans to reunite and elope once you get him off those pesky traitor charges he has hanging over his head?"

She bit her lip and said, "Which question do you want me to answer first?"

"All of them!"

Kathryn held his angry gaze. "Chakotay and I have made no plans. We were only honest about our feelings for one another. I care for him very much and I will help him beat those charges not because of our personal relationship but because he's not that man anymore. He never was. He defied Starfleet to do the right thing by his people."

"The right thing by his people? Do you even hear yourself?"

"It's the truth."

"You're throwing away your career for this man! I could never even get you to come home and give me a solid uninterrupted twenty-four period and this man has you defying every Starfleet rule and regulation you ever swore to! You sound desperate, Kathryn. I know you were in a desperate situation and I get that. I do understand. But now? You're home and safe and you're back to reality. A reality you need to face."

"No, Mark. You're the one who needs to face reality." Kathryn looked at his shocked face and said, "I'm not the same person I was."

Mark's lips thinned. "Clearly. You're a liar and you betrayed us. Two things I would have never thought you would be capable of."

"I haven't lied about anything. I've told you the truth tonight."

"Tonight, maybe. But you swore you loved me before you left."

She smacked the table. "I did love you and you know that! You can't understand what it was like. Believing that I would never see you again. I loved you!" She calmed herself and said, "I still do."

"Well, you got over it apparently." He noted her troubled face and said, "Look, Kathryn, no, I can't know what it was like for you. But I'd like to think I wouldn't have thrown us away as fast as you did. My god, you've only been gone a year. The events you've just told me about would have been over several months which means you betrayed me in a matter of weeks."

"Months," she corrected. "Months. Not weeks."

"Oh well, that's so much better." Mark took a sip from his glass. "But you didn't answer my last question. Did you and he have one last night before you left the ship?"

Kathryn was quiet for several moments. "Yes."

Mark's finger shot into her face. "Get out!"

She shrank back and quickly stood up.

"Get out of here! Get out of my home! Get out of my life!"

"I'm so sorry," she said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"No, you never meant to see me again! So honor that! Leave!" Kathryn didn't move and he added, "Oh don't worry, I'll keep your secret. Your father was a good man and your mother enjoys a lot of perks based upon his memory. She doesn't deserve a daughter like you and it's a good thing your father is dead so he never has to witness your personal disgrace."

Kathryn's mouth dropped and fresh tears sprung to her eyes. She choked on a sob as she ran from the table and left his apartment for good.


	5. Chapter 5

Over the next few days, Kathryn tried to stem her swirl of emotions which had manifested physically. Her stomach was in overdrive leaving her appetite nil. Without any nourishment, her energy was flagging yet she appeared at each and every appearance for every single former Maquis crew member and vigorously defended each and every one of them. Suspended sentences and or outright acquittals had been handed down for everyone and their former captain was relieved. Still she knew that, with no one paying the price for Maquis activities so far, someone was going to be made an example of and she knew exactly who Starfleet had in mind.

Chakotay's hearing was the final one and it drew the largest crowd yet. Kathryn had been up all night. She was grateful when Admiral Paris appeared to pull her through the crush of media and escort her personally into the hearing room.

Chakotay was soon led out by a security detail. He scanned the courtroom and Kathryn's heart jumped when she saw him. She had not visited him out of fear that her support might harm his chances before the board. She knew it would make the news. Mark had not contacted her since that awful night and she was afraid if he saw her visiting Chakotay that he would forget his vow of silence about her personal relationship with her First Officer and make that the next headline. Any scandal would doom both her and Chakotay, for good.

Chakotay's eyes finally found her. They widened as he took in her pale, sickly appearance. She looked terrible and he wondered if that's why she had not been to see him. He was almost afraid she had changed her mind after seeing her family and fiancé again. However, it looked like maybe her reunions weren't going very well.

Kathryn smiled and he nodded back. He took his seat and the hearing began. When it came time for witness and character statements, Captain Janeway's name was finally called. She stood up shakily and came forward to address the board. She eloquently detailed her First Officer's sacrifices and bravery upon joining Voyager and laid out her professional history with him.

The Admirals and the audience listened with rapt attention as she defiantly heaped each praise, accomplishment and sacrifice Chakotay had made for her and the Voyager crew at the officials' feet and dared them at the end to not take it into full consideration.

As she neared the end of her address, she felt dizzy and gripped the podium to steady herself. She wiped a hand across her sweaty forehead and said, "The Commander and I were stranded 75 thousand light years away from here because of a decision I personally made to sacrifice each and every one of our futures for the benefit of a new species. I forced us together and, together, he and I had to care for a crew of 150 people, most of whom did not know or like one another because of the assumptions we had made about each other's pasts. We survived because we moved past those assumptions, found out most of them were wrong, forgave those past transgressions, and became a family. We moved on because we had a more important goal. A goal to get home to you and to our families. We accomplished that together, Starfleet and former Maquis working as one. Neither one of us could have done it on our own. Yet only one part of that crew is being celebrated for their hard work while the others have been taken prisoner for crimes they allegedly committed over a year ago."

An Admiral leaned forward and said, "Captain Janeway, are you proposing that there be no consequence for blatant rebel activity? What kind of a system would Starfleet have? Frankly, I am appalled that none of the former Maquis have yet to be disciplined at all. I think we need to make an example of at least one and I'd say the leader would work for me."

"That's not true," Janeway said. "These people lost a year of their lives thanks to me and the decision I made."

"With all due respect, Captain, the only reason you were taken to the Delta Quadrant was because you were sent on a mission to find our hidden operative aboard his ship. Had Commander Chakotay never undertaken his rebel activities, your Delta Quadrant excursion would have never happened."

A murmur ran through the crowd and Janeway glanced around. She stared and her mouth dropped as she saw Mark standing in the back watching her defend a man he knew she cared about on a very personal level.

"Captain Janeway?" the Admiral prompted.

Mark's counter stare was as cold as it had been that night and Kathryn took a deep breath and turned back to the panel. "Had we not made that trip, the Ocampa would have died. More ships would be disappearing from the Badlands due to a mysterious phenomenon which you now know was the Caretaker's array." She pointed at Neelix and said, "I would never have met a dear friend who is now just as distant from his home as we were from ours yet keeps a smile on his face because he knows that's what the world wants to see."

Kathryn felt unsteady again and she put her head down.

"Captain?" the Admiral said.

She looked back up and said, "If you've already made the decision to punish and make an example out of a good man who saved my life many times over as well as those of our crew, then what I have to say is pointless since you won't hear it. But please listen to this. I am here now to tell you that a decision to condemn this man is a mistake."

Kathryn inhaled a few large gulps of air. "Commander Chakotay should be commended for his service to Starfleet. He did an outstanding job this past year. Starfleet. That's the organization he served. Not Maquis. Not his own agenda. Starfleet. He served under me, a Starfleet Captain, under Starfleet rules and regulations. I was proud to call him my First Officer and my friend and I hope to do so again, very soon."

A door slammed in the back of the room and Kathryn didn't bother to look back. She knew who had just left the room so abruptly. She only hoped the media would not identify him and put the unspoken pieces of this puzzle together.

"A very touching and impassioned plea, Captain. You obviously have very strong feelings for this man," the Admiral said.

Kathryn's heart raced as she straightened and said, "I have the utmost respect for Commander Chakotay. He is a hero. He brought Voyager home with me. And he should be applauded for his recent work not vilified for his past."

The Admiral sat back. "Ah but there we have the 'then what kind of system would be this be' rub again, Captain." He glanced at his colleagues. "I'm ready to pronounce sentence if there are no further questions or witnesses."

The other Admirals nodded and another murmur went through the crowd. Chakotay was asked to rise before the board. "Do you have any final words, Commander Chakotay?"

Chakotay rose and gave a grateful nod to her before saying, "It was an honor to serve with Captain Janeway. Yes, I did turn my back on the oath and principles that I defied my father and my family to learn. But when Starfleet defied my planet and left them at the mercy of the Cardassians, I did what I thought I had to do. I'm not sorry for the why but I do regret my actions and the way I chose to handle the situation back then. I became a very angry and bitter man who cared about nothing other than to make others hurt the way I hurt when I found my tribe butchered because of a treaty I believe Starfleet never should have made."

The crowd began to erupt and the Admiral asked coldly, "These are your final words?"

"No," Chakotay said. "I have one more thing to say. I didn't want to serve Starfleet while I was defending my tribe and frankly, for the first few weeks in the Delta Quadrant, I and the rest of the Maquis chafed under your uniforms. But it was the compassion and loyalty of this captain who took us in and expected no less from us than our absolute best that every single one of us conformed and became capable of achieving our goal of returning home no matter what awaited us. Captain Janeway reminded me of my oath and those principles that we all committed to while we were away. She took a chance on some young rebels who took their limited Starfleet training and went on to become stellar engineers and security personnel that would rival the best you currently have here. She demanded Voyager be a Starfleet vessel and it was and so was its crew. I'm proud to say that Voyager and her Captain gave me back those principles and my life. And if you need to take more of it to prove that actions have consequences, I understand and will respect that decision. I will perform my sentence with the same dignity and respect this woman reminded me that I have. And that is all I have to say."

The crowd grew louder until the Admiral warned them to quiet down so the board could conclude the proceeding.

The Head Admiral stood and said, "Former Commander Chakotay, you speak well as does your Captain. You are both to be commended for your service over the past year. You did the impossible with some omnipotent help. Surviving to get to the point of encountering that bit of providence is nothing short of miraculous. And I salute you both."

The panel and the crowd broke into wild applause. Kathryn leaned against the podium as her emotions and fatigue threatened to overwhelm her. Chakotay flashed a smile at her which heartened and lifted her spirits and she smiled back.

After a few minutes, the Admiral quieted everyone again and said, "But, it is undeniable that actions, especially traitorous actions, must have consequences. Direct ones. Not indirect ones. Direct and logical consequences must be upheld or I must concur that our system of law is in grave danger from these 'special mitigating circumstances.'"

He held up a hand as the crowd grew listless. "As unique as this indirect consequence was, it was an accident. It was not done nor did it have any bearing on your Maquis activities. It was an act of a higher intelligence that inadvertently stopped your illegal activity for well over a year. A boon to us but a year of your life to you. I am afraid it does not suffice as punishment."

Kathryn's heart dropped as she watched Chakotay lower his head. As she waited for the Admiral's words, she closed her eyes. The silence stretched and she finally opened them to find Q looking at her.

"Q!"

"Hello, Kathy! Miss me?"

Kathryn looked around and saw that the entire room was frozen. "What did you do? What happened?"

"I am about to offer you another choice. You appreciated my last offer, did you not?"

Kathryn looked over at Chakotay who still had his head bowed as he awaited his punishment. "Actually, Q, I'm not so sure it turned out to be everything I hoped it would be."

"What? You mean the reunions of the crew and their families didn't warm your heart? I did see the nastiness between you and your former fiancé? But then you really did have that coming, didn't you?"

Kathryn turned back and said, "What do you want?"

"Your new lover here is about to spend the rest of his life in prison."

She scoffed. "He's probably going to do some time but never a life sentence."

"Trust me, Kathy. I've seen his future. It doesn't look pretty."

Kathryn's smile faded. "What do you mean?"

"Did the trip home relieve you of your hearing? I just said he is about to spend the rest of his life in prison. And you did have such hopes for your future together, didn't you?"

Kathryn felt another wave of dizziness overtake her. "No, no, it can't…they can't."

Q nodded. "They can. They will and they did. You and Chuckles will have a touching goodbye in which he will tell you to go live your life. He will then refuse any and all contact with you to make sure you do just that."

She shook her head. "No. I won't let that happen."

"I'm afraid you have no choice. This isn't the wild, wild Delta Quadrant where your word goes. You miss that kind of autonomy now, don't you?"

"Yes," she said absentmindedly. Looking up, she said, "What can I do?"

"Go back."

"What?"

"Go back," Q said. Taking her by the shoulders, he said, "I want you to come back to the Delta Quadrant, with me. There's nothing for you here now. You'll just be a wreck, a shadow of your former self. Before you know it, you'll be living like a recluse and talking to yourself with no one but that pet Talaxian to tend to you. Eventually, he'll grow weary of you and you'll be all alone, unkempt, living under a bridge. Your only future will be as a 'where are they now' trivia answer. It's not a pretty picture, Kathy."

Kathryn stared in disbelief. "You're not serious."

"I'm very serious. Mark doesn't want you. Chuckles is going up the river. And your crew will forget about you as soon as a new captain is placed in command of Voyager."

"Voyager is my ship!"

"Not after Mark tells everyone about the affair you had with your First Officer. Just think of it Kathy. The speech you just gave and the one Chuckles gave back to you will inspire romance novels for decades to come. In fact, I just came from the impromptu press conference. It was riveting for the first five minutes and then you can practically write the story itself. It's so been done before."

Kathryn caught her breath. "Mark told everyone about Chakotay and me?"

"Yes. And your mother and your sister are so ashamed and devastated at your behavior that there will be no family support coming for you, Kathy. You dishonored the family name. They want nothing to do with you."

Kathryn fought back tears. "That's not true. My mother would never abandon me. Nor my sister."

"Fine. Stay and witness it. But when you're ready, just say 'yes, Q' and I'll take you back with me. You'll like me. I'm all sorts of fun."

Kathryn considered Q's words. "Why do you want me to go with you?"

Q smiled and swiped a tear from her cheek. "You need a friend, Kathy. 'Yes, Q' is all it takes for me to be one."

"If I go back, will you set Chakotay free? Make all of this go away for him?"

Q's brow arched. "Intriguing proposition."

"And my family. If you promise me that my family and Chakotay won't be hurt, that they won't have to suffer… I'll go."

"Deal." Q raised his fingers.

"Wait! How will they know where I am? What will they know about why I disappeared? I don't want them to look for me. I don't want them to suffer like they have for the past year."

Q folded his arms. "Well, what do you want me to do? Make it so you've never been born?"

"Yes. That way no one can miss me. I want you to make it so my family will never know I was here, Mark and I will have never met, and I want Chakotay free. Free to live his life."

"Done."

The room came to life and Kathryn watched as the Admiral cleared his throat and looked around the room. His eyes focused on her and he looked confused. Shaking his head, he turned back to Chakotay and said, "Punishment by the letter of the law must be tempered with punishment in the spirit of the law. Captain Chakotay, I hereby sentence you to resume your place as Voyager's Captain. You will join the war effort under the guidance and oversight of a very strict and vigilant Starfleet security detail."

The crowd cheered and Kathryn broke into a wide grin as she clapped along with the others. Chakotay looked confused as he turned to her and mouthed, "Captain?"

Kathryn's smile faded as Q leaned down and whispered, "Time to go. You and I have a date with destiny."

She noted the recognition in his eyes and said, "Wait! He still knows me!"

Kathryn watched Chakotay's face turn from confusion to anguish as he watched her slowly fade away and disappear.


	6. Chapter 6

Kathryn watched Chakotay and the crowd scene fade away until she found herself in her quarters aboard Voyager. "No, Chakotay, no!" She spun around and yelled, "Q!"

Q walked out of the bedroom in a pink satin bathrobe with two champagne glasses. Kathryn looked at him and said, "You promised me I wouldn't be missed! Chakotay knows I'm gone!"

"You asked me to have your family never know of your existence and to give Chakotay his freedom. Done and done. Now get comfortable."

Q snapped his fingers and Kathryn's uniform dissolved into a pink satin nightgown perfectly matching Q's ensemble. She stepped back and said, "What are you doing? Please, you promised me. I don't want him to hurt! Please!"

"Well, you should be more careful with your words then, shouldn't you? You are a former diplomat, are you not? You should know the importance of verbiage and sign language."

Q slid close with his final words but Kathryn grabbed his arm. "Q, please. Please don't do this to him."

"He'll get over you, believe me. You're not that great, you know. Look how fast it took Mark to dump you. Now, where were we?"

Q snapped his fingers and Kathryn's couch turned into a heart shaped bed.

"What are you doing?" she said. "I thought you were taking me back to the Delta Quadrant. Why are we back on Voyager?"

"We are back on Voyager. Think of it as Voyager 2.0. I thought familiar surroundings would help so I duplicated it. You do need some way to get around out here in the Delta Quadrant, you know."

Kathryn folded her arms. "Without a crew? Who's going to run the ship?"

"Think of it as perpetual space dock. Now, here." Q handed her a glass of champagne.

"What is this for?"

"We are celebrating."

"Celebrating?" Kathryn looked around and the enormity of her choices over the past several weeks suddenly hit her full force. Outside that door, there was no Chakotay or Tom or Harry or Tuvok. She had some hope for the Doctor but she was now truly and utterly alone, devoid of any real companionship. Chakotay had been deserted without a reason as to where or why she had gone. He also had no way to know she would never be coming back. She sank down on the bed and covered her face with her hands. Soon, her entire body was wracked with sobs.

Q placed his glass down on the table and said, "You know, this really isn't how I pictured my first time."

"I want to go home," Kathryn cried. "I don't want to do this, Q. I've made a mistake."

"You'd rather go home and watch your lover rot in a prison? See yourself and your family shamed by a scandal the likes of which Starfleet has never seen? Dishonor your father not to mention the impact the scandal will have on the entire crew of Voyager most of whom will have their careers ruined or at the least tainted by your actions."

Kathryn settled a bit and she took a deep breath. "Okay, okay. Just give me a moment."

"You've had it." Q grabbed her up and took her in his arms. He bent her back and said, "It's time."

Kathryn watched as his lips drew closer to hers. "What, what are you doing? Time for what?"

"It's time, Kathy. For I have chosen you! Out of all the creatures in the universe, many of which you have never even met, out of all of them, I have chosen you."

Kathryn's eyes darted with his and she felt her fear rise. "Chosen for what?"

"I have chosen you to be the mother of my child. It's an unbelievable honor isn't it?"

Kathryn exhaled. "What?"

Q kissed her on the lips. "You, dearest Kathy, are about to become the mother of my child!"

Kathryn pushed him away and ran to the door. "What?" She glanced around the room, the same duplicate of a room, where Cullah had made the same threat. She couldn't help but tremble as she looked back at him. "Please don't do this. I can't go through this again."

"Again? But, Kathy, we haven't even gotten to first base."

"You said you saw my past, everything that happened here."

"Oh that." Q waved and said, "Oh, no, this is much different. I want you to be a willing mother of peace."

"Peace?"

"Yes, by having a child with me!"

Kathryn shook her head. "You're not making any sense, Q."

"Do you remember when you set Q free?"

"Of course. What happened to him?"

"He made good on his threat. Thanks to you, he killed himself."

Kathryn's heart sank. "Oh, Q, I had hoped that he…"

"What? That he would change his mind in the next five seconds or so of freedom?"

"I'm sorry."

Q frowned. "Not as sorry as the Continuum is. It's literally ripped the place apart."

Kathryn shrugged. "I'm sorry but what can I do for the Continuum?"

Q raced over and grabbed her in his arms again. "Mate with me. With your human DNA and my Qness we could have a child that will inspire peace, love, compassion...all those silly ideals that your species holds so precious."

"A child? Oh, Q. You think a child will end a civil war within the Continuum?"

"It has to. It must! So let's begin." Q tried to pull her to the bed but she slapped at him and he stopped. "Why the reluctance? I am offering you the opportunity of a lifetime."

Kathryn folded her arms against her chest and said, "It's not that I'm not appreciative of your choice, Q. It's just that I can't…I can't just have a baby with you like that."

Q's eyes narrowed. "Why? Is there another man? There can't be another man. I just ended that relationship. So what's the problem?" Q placed his hands around her waist and rubbed her stomach. "Do you have any idea what an honor it will be to carry a Q?"

Kathryn watched as he ducked down and placed his ear against her abdomen. "What are you doing?" she asked.

Q's face grew confused and then amused. He grinned and finally chuckled. "Why, you minx. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Kathryn tried to push him away from her. "Get away from me."

Q pulled away and rose to meet her eyes. "You can't be the mother of my child, Kathy."

"Well, no offense, Q but, as honored as I am that you thought of me, I don't want to be a mother right now."

"Well, I'd change that opinion if I were you."

It was Kathryn's turn to be confused. "What?"

Q's smile grew wider. "My dearest, Kathy, you're already a mother."

Her eyes widened. "What did you just say?"

Q beamed. "You're already carrying a child. Kathy, you're pregnant."

A rush of emotion went through her as she heard Q's words. Her vision began to swim and the next thing she knew she was laying on the bed, Q mopping her forehead with a cool cloth.

Her eyes fluttered. "Q? What, what happened?"

"Why, one moment I'm giving you news that entirely upsets my plans and the next you're a heap. I'm really not cut out for this caretaker stuff, Kathy."

She wet her lips with her tongue. "I'm, you said, I'm going to have a baby."

"That's right. And I never would have made this deal if I knew about that kid! That was a dirty trick and I have a long memory. You should be very scared of me now."

Kathryn rose up. "Send me back, Q. I have to go back and tell him."

"Him who? Oh, Chuckles? Why? So you can make the scandal worse? What is he going to do? Have you bring the child each visitor's day so he can watch the kid grow up behind bars? What makes you think he'd care?"

"He'd care. He's always cared." Kathryn fell back onto the bed and cried. She had forgotten about the reality she had created and would go back to. Her child would be just as much an outcast as she was. She couldn't do that. It would be heartbreak for all of them. She didn't notice Q leave as she cried herself back into an exhausted sleep.

Chakotay stood in the Captain's Quarters aboard Voyager. He was thoroughly and summarily confused. No one seemed to know or have even heard of Captain Kathryn Janeway. When he pulled the files on Voyager, he read an unbelievable account of how he, Chakotay, had assumed command of Voyager after it and his Maquis vessel were both pulled into the Delta Quadrant.

The initial trip had killed several members of both crews including Voyager's captain, a female officer Chakotay didn't recognize, and the First Officer Cavitt. Chakotay's Maquis ship had been lost in a skirmish with the Kazon while attempting to rescue some crew members that had been kidnapped by the Caretaker. Most of the scenarios were familiar but key people were missing. Captain Janeway did not exist and Tom Paris never made the trip. In fact, a personal trip to Tom's current penal colony confirmed Tom knew neither a Captain Janeway nor a Voyager and had zero interest in speaking to Chakotay, his former Maquis employer, any further.

According to the files, after being pulled into the Delta Quadrant, Chakotay had united both crews under his command and installed Tuvok, revealed to be a Starfleet spy aboard his Maquis ship, as his First Officer to balance out the hierarchy. After several eventful months, including attempted mutinies, Voyager spotted a wormhole which Chakotay had daringly used to bring them all home. And now, here they were. Battered but grateful with a former rebel Starfleet officer who had redeemed himself to earn a second chance among them. Chakotay's last effort was to contact Kathryn's family but neither Kathryn's mother, sister nor supposed fiancé acknowledged her existence.

As his memories drifted, he looked around her room. Nothing in it was hers. It was all his. All supposedly left by him when Voyager returned home. A check of the First Officer quarter's revealed only Tuvok's personal items just as the computer said it should.

Something was very wrong. He had seen Kathryn disappear in front of him with Q.

Q!

Chakotay walked to the console and punched up Q's file. There were several reports of activity in the Alpha and Beta Quadrants but nothing in the Delta Quadrant. He knew that wasn't right.

Chakotay stepped back and looked up at the ceiling. "Q! Q, I demand you bring her back to me, now! Q! Q! Do you hear me? Answer me!"

He waited but there was nothing. No response. He took a deep breath and said, "Q! I mean it! Answer me!" Silence still greeted his demand.

Chakotay picked up a figurine of a phoenix and flung it against the wall.

"Q, YOU ANSWER ME NOW!"

The phoenix shattered as Chakotay sank down into a chair and covered his face with his hands.


	7. Chapter 7

Kathryn awoke with a start and looked around her room. As she sat up, a wave of nausea greeted her. She put her hand to her face and tried to settle her stomach with some deep breaths. She took her hands away and said, "Q?"

Silence greeted her and she carefully rose from the bed. Her balance was off and the dizziness took her to her knees. "Computer," she called.

The computer beeped as it awaited her instructions.

"Computer, beam me directly to sickbay."

Kathryn felt the transporter beam take her away.

'_Transport complete,'_ the computer said.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Computer, activate EMH program."

The Doctor shimmered into view. "Please state the nature of the medical emergency." He turned until he caught sight of the captain on the floor. Immediately, he stooped down to help her up. "Captain?"

"I'm so glad you're still here. Help me, please."

He lifted her up and placed her on a bio bed. "Still here? Where would I go? I'm embedded into the ship." He waved a tricorder over her and looked at the results.

Kathryn watched him and said, "I know I'm pregnant. Q already told me."

The Doctor gave her a worried look. "I'm sorry, Captain. Had we had the proper time and opportunity, I could have prevented this for you."

"It's my fault. I guess I wasn't thinking when Chakotay and I…when we said goodbye."

"Captain?"

Kathryn looked up and he saw her tears. "And now he'll never know. I made sure he would never even remember me."

Q popped in behind her. "Oh he remembers you."

Kathryn turned and grabbed the side of the bed as another wave of dizziness and nausea went through her. She felt a hypo spray against her neck and her head finally cleared and her stomach quieted. "That better not be true. Doctor, this is Q. I'm not sure how much you know about what happened these past few weeks."

"I've been monitoring. I know we were sent back to the Alpha Quadrant by Mr. Q but current readings show we are back in the Delta Quadrant?"

Q threw out his hands. "Courtesy of moi, yet again!"

"I've read about you in some of the literature," the Doctor said.

"Then my reputation precedes me," Q said.

"Not well," the Doctor answered.

Q frowned as Kathryn grabbed his arm. "Stop. What did you mean when you said Chakotay remembers me? You promised me everyone would forget."

"I promised you your family would forget and Chakotay would be freed. Done and done."

"I asked you to fix that." Kathryn touched her stomach. "Besides, he is family."

"No, he's not. You aren't married to the man, are you?" Q said. "Since when is he family?"

"Q, I'm having his child," she said. "You promised me that no one would hurt if I left and came back with you. How much more family can he get?"

Q leaned into her and said, "Kathy, I don't think you have all the facts."

Kathryn stared. "What do you mean? You said I was pregnant. The Doctor's confirmed it." She spun back to the Doctor. "You did just confirm that, right?"

The Doctor glanced at Q before saying, "Yes, Captain, you are indeed pregnant."

Kathryn turned back to Q. "Please, please don't let Chakotay spend his life looking for me. He'll spend his life wondering where I am and…" She pressed her hand to her stomach again. "And where his child is."

"But, Kathy, he doesn't even know the child exists," Q said. "And besides…"

"He'll look for me," she said. "Please don't do this to him. Please Q. I'm begging you."

"Captain," the Doctor said. "There is something you really need to know."

Kathryn turned again and threw out her hands. "What? What else do I possibly need to know? I've lost everything. My life, my family, the father of my child. This child is all I have left. It's the only gift I have from Chakotay and it's the only thing that's going to keep me alive." A tear ran down her cheek as she looked at Q. "Please, I can't bear the fact that Chakotay's hurting. I won't be able to go on if I know he's in pain like that."

Q smiled. "You'd give over your life for him? Kathy, Kathy, you are about to bear a child. And you've been a much stronger woman than this in the past. I'm actually beginning to rethink my initial offer to you. I'd thought you'd make a better mother than this."

"Captain," the Doctor said.

"I've sacrificed myself my entire life, Q," Kathryn said. "Now, I'm going to have to ask my child to make the same sacrifice and never know his or her own father. It's cruel."

"You want to go back?" Q asked. "You can go back and raise this child with Chuckles, alone, behind bars."

"Captain," the Doctor said. "I would think before involving the Commander in this pregnancy."

Kathryn looked at the Doctor. "Why? It is his child. He has a right to know."

"But if he didn't know," Q said. "He would never miss it."

She frowned. "But he does remember me. He may not know about our child but he knows about me."

Q threw up his hands and snapped his fingers. "Fine. He doesn't know about you. All fixed. See?"

Kathryn's eyes narrowed. "I don't believe you. Take me to him and let me see."

"Demanding little Starfleet Captain, aren't you? Oh wait, you're not that anymore either."

Kathryn caught her breath as his words stung. Taking a deep breath, she said, "Please let me see him, Q. I need to make sure he doesn't know that I exist."

Q's smile faded. "And what's in it for me? You can't have my child. You're having someone else's. You do nothing for me anymore. It would serve you right if I just sent you back as is."

Kathryn thought a moment. "Maybe it's better if you do send me back. Running away isn't solving anything and Chakotay has a right to meet his child."

"Captain," the Doctor said. "Commander Chakotay will not meet his child."

Kathryn's eyes widened. "Why? Is there something wrong with the baby?"

The Doctor looked at her and then glanced at Q before saying, "Just the assumption of his heritage." He took her hand and said, "Captain, this child isn't fully human. He's only half human."

Kathryn's world started to spin again. "No," she breathed. "No, no, no."

The Doctor watched her tears begin anew as he confirmed her worst fears. "I'm sorry, Captain. But I'm afraid the father of this child is Kazon."

"Cullah?" she whispered.

Q bent down to whisper in her ear as the Doctor slowly nodded. "Well, it seems fathering your child has become a competitive sport, Kathy. Jean-Luc was never this difficult to work with."

The Doctor pulled her away and snapped, "Do you mind?"

Q huffed and walked away.

"Captain, I can terminate this pregnancy. You don't have to have this child."

Kathryn shook her head and wiped her tears. "It's not the child's fault. I don't think I can do that."

Q snapped his fingers and Kathryn jumped. "Oh, don't worry. That was just an idea snap." He ignored her wary look and said, "I have the perfect solution. I need a kid. You have a kid. A kid you don't want. Let me have the little tyke. I can make him Q just like…"

Q raised his hand to snap his fingers but Kathryn yelled, "No! You will not touch my child."

"But, you don't want his paternity the way it is, do you?"

Kathryn looked down and then said, "Q, you can change his paternity, just like that?"

Q arched an eyebrow. "Did you miss the part where I mentioned I'm omnipotent? Really, Kathy, the disappointments keep coming."

Kathryn sniffed and wiped her cheek with the back of her hand.

"Captain," the Doctor said. "You can't possibly be considering…"

"Doing what Seska did?" she finished. "At least I'd be doing it for the right reasons."

The Doctor cocked his head. "And what right reason would there be?"

She sniffed again and said, "If I have this child, what do I say? What do I tell him when he asks who and where his father is?"

"Do you think you would give a different response if you made him Q?"

"It would be easier to explain that than what actually happened. No child deserves to hear that they were created in violence."

"Captain," the Doctor said. "Q is not this child's father."

Q placed his head next to Kathryn's. "But I could be. In fact, it solves everyone's problem. You and I won't have to go through the messiness of mating. You just deliver the child to me and the Continuum will be saved."

The Doctor challenged him. "Saved from what? Just what do you expect a child to do for you?"

Kathryn pushed Q away and said, "The Continuum is in the midst of a civil war after one of their members committed suicide."

"Suicide?" The Doctor said. "That's a neat trick for an immortal being."

"He had some help," Q said. "I admire individuality and out of the box thinking so I helped him do it." He ignored the Doctor's horrified look and took Kathryn by the shoulders. "Kathy, give your child to me and both our problems are solved."

"Q, I cannot hand over my child to you. He's my son."

"Not for long," Q responded.

Her eyes narrowed and she instinctively pulled away and folded her arms. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said. You don't want him. I need him. It's the perfect solution for everyone."

Kathryn jumped up. "Q, I do want him! I'm not thrilled with his paternity but he is my child and no one, not even your omnipotent self, will take him from me!"

Q stared at her angry face and matched it with a furious look of his own. He squeezed her hard as he said, "I can take this child and I will. You have no power over me, Kathryn Janeway, and you're foolish to think that you do. Very foolish." Glancing up at the Doctor, Q said, "Take care of my kid. I'll be back."

And, with a snap of his fingers, he was gone.

**A/N: Thank you for reading my story. A few of these plot lines were at the suggestions of readers and I want to credit them for that. I love to hear any feedback you have and, if you want me to incorporate something you'd prefer to read in this or any other story, just let me know. :0) **


	8. Chapter 8

Q arrived at the Captain's Quarters as Chakotay walked out of the bedroom and stopped cold.

"Computer, intruder alert!"

Q waved at him. "Relax. Relax. No one can hear your blathering. I've ensured we have complete and total privacy."

Chakotay eyed him. "Who are you?"

"Relax, you're not my type either. Kathy, on the other hand, is going to give me exactly what I want."

"Kathy?"

"Oh, I forgot. She made me do it." Q snapped his fingers and watched as realization came back into Chakotay's eyes. "Now are you with the program?"

Chakotay flew and grabbed Q by his uniform. "Where is she? I saw you take her from the hearing. Where is she? Where is Kathryn?"

Q chafed under Chakotay's tight grasp and said, "Unhand me now or you'll never see her again."

Chakotay pushed him away and demanded, "Tell me where she is, Q! What have you done? No one even knows who she is anymore."

Q pointed and said, "That was her idea. I had nothing to do with that."

"I doubt that. Where is Kathryn?"

"In sickbay."

Chakotay slapped at his communicator. "Computer, locate Captain Janeway in sickbay."

The computer beeped and said, '_There is no record of a Captain Janeway aboard this vessel."_

Chakotay looked at Q who shrugged and said, "I never said she was in this sickbay."

Chakotay growled. "Where is she? What have you done with her? Is she hurt?"

"No, she's not hurt. She's only pregnant."

Chakotay's mouth dropped. "She's… what did you just say?"

Q waved again and said, "Relax, it's not yours."

Chakotay's chest tightened. A chill gripped him as he realized who the father of her child must be. Quickly, he cleared his desk and his personal items scattered as they tumbled to the ground.

"Temper, temper," Q said. "I always forget what emotional beings you humans are. No wonder you paint yourself to look so fierce." Q peered into his face and said, "Although I find it hard to believe anyone including Kathy finds that marking scary or the least bit attractive."

Chakotay breathed a moment until he said, "Take me to her."

Q placed a hand on his chest. "Me? You want me to do something for you?"

"Yes. I want you to take me to her. Now. Please. She needs me."

Q shook his head. "No she needs a doctor and she has that."

Chakotay bit his tongue. "Please. I'm begging you, Q. I'll do anything you want. Please, take me to her."

Q folded his arms. "Okay, but you're going to agree to do something for me first."

Kathryn paced in her quarters. She tried to lie down and sleep as the Doctor had requested but could not quiet her mind enough to let it happen. Q's threat to take her child played in her head. As much as she did not plan the pregnancy, the child was here and it was a part of her. Giving it up to the Continuum was not an option. The choice she had made to free Chakotay and herself from everyone and anyone she had ever known had made her lonely. This child was the only family she had left. Q would not be allowed to deprive her of that. She just had to figure out a way to stop an omnipotent being from doing it.

A flash of light appeared in her quarters and Q and Chakotay stood before her. She could not help the overwhelming emotion that rushed through her at the sight of her former First Officer.

"Chakotay!"

He grabbed her as she ran into his arms and collapsed against him. He held her as she cried and smoothed her hair as he whispered, "I know about the baby. I'm so sorry, Kathryn. I'm so sorry. This was all my fault."

Kathryn pulled back and said, "No, it's not."

"Did the Doctor not treat you? I thought he had done everything for you after the assault?"

Kathryn wiped her nose and said, "He couldn't. He came to treat what he could in my quarters but he didn't have everything with him. It was just the basics and then I guess I never thought about anything else. I didn't want to think about it after it was all over and we were safe. There was so much to do with the ship and the repairs and then him." She waved at Q.

Q smiled and said, "Hey, I tried but that kid isn't mine. At least, not yet."

Chakotay raised his arms over her as she said, "You will not take my child."

"Oh Kathy, why not?" Q asked. "You don't really want him. What you want, for some unknown reason, is a child with this one. Give me this baby and he'll give you another child. Just like that!" Q snapped his fingers and Kathryn jumped.

"What did you just do?" she said.

"Nothing. Sometimes a snap is just a snap."

"Enough," Chakotay demanded. "If you could take this child, you would have already."

Q's smile faded. "Don't be so sure of that. Just because I have manners doesn't mean my hand or my finger cannot be forced." He looked back at Kathryn. "Give me this child. I will make him Q. He will be a savior to an omnipotent race of beings rather than the bastard child of some unfortunate rape. Tell me, Kathy, do you really want to look at a Kazon's face every day?"

Kathryn's face paled as she stepped back.

Q watched her react and said, "That is your reality you know. And eventually your child will pick up on it and notice that you look at him differently. And he'll pull away because he doesn't want to upset his mother."

"Stop it," Chakotay said. "Her son will be loved. By both of us."

Q looked at him and said, "You're not exactly holding to your end of the bargain."

"Bargain?" Kathryn said. "What does that mean? Chakotay, what does he mean by that?"

Chakotay took a breath before saying, "Just that he wants me to have a child with you."

"I want that too," she said. "I do but I'm afraid we'll have to wait."

"Yes," Q said. "The womb's a little crowded right now, isn't it? But it doesn't have to be."

Kathryn wrapped her arms around her stomach. "Don't touch my child."

Q grabbed her shoulders and said, "Give him to me. Let me give him a life he deserves and will be worshipped in. He doesn't even have to know you exist!"

"What?" she said.

Q smiled. "Your entire family, everyone you've ever known, has no idea you exist. And they're happy. Just ask him."

Chakotay hesitated before nodding. "No one has any recollection of you."

"So they don't miss me," she said. "But, a child needs to know where they came from, Q. Who their parents are."

Q scoffed. "No one in the Continuum has this antiquated idea of parents."

"But I thought that was the idea of bringing a child to them," she said. "To teach our human values. A sense of family. Love."

"Yes, well, the child will be half human. He'll already have them."

"Oh, Q," Kathryn rubbed her forehead. "You think humans are just born with these values? Q, they are taught by parents who nurture and love their children and teach them through example to be honest, good, decent beings and citizens of the worlds they travel to. They just aren't innate to our species. You can't just take my child and expect him to show humanity without even exposing him to it."

"I don't want him to be human," Q said. "I want him to be Q."

"A Q with human qualities that you want to sprinkle into the Continuum," she said. "Where do you expect him to get those human qualities from? They don't come from our DNA."

Q frowned. "Well, I suppose you'll have to train the little tyke up a bit. Maybe a few weeks or months. Just how long until Junior can suck all your humanity up?"

Kathryn smiled. "A lifetime. And I will never surrender my son to you."

Q's frown deepened. "Fine. If you won't do that, then you will surrender him and yourself to me for an eternity." Q looked at Chakotay and said, "Sorry, Chuckles. Looks like you lose again."

Kathryn looked over at Chakotay who put his head down before saying, "Kathryn, I would never expect you to choose me over your own son."

"Was that the bargain you made with him? You would get me to give up my child by coming back to me?"

Chakotay glanced at Q. "Maybe. I wasn't sure how you felt about this child. I wanted you to know that you didn't have to go through whatever decision you made alone."

Q put his arm around Kathryn. "Well, she's not alone and it seems we no longer have a use for you."

Q raised his hand until Kathryn cried, "Wait!" She looked at Chakotay and said, "You wanted me to give up this child?"

He shook his head. "No. Kathryn, I didn't know how you felt about it. If you didn't want to be his mother, I would have understood that and helped you with it."

"Why? Because I didn't want to be a mother on that planet?" she snapped.

Chakotay stared. "Kathryn, this child wasn't conceived in love the way our child was and ..."

"And if I didn't want that one, how could I ever want one conceived in hate? Is that what you really think?"

"No, it's not what I really think. Kathryn, I've been through this! I didn't give a damn that my supposed son had a Cardassian witch for a mother. He was still my son and I wanted him! I know how you feel right now!"

"Do you? I think you believe I want to give over my child simply to get rid of the responsibility of it."

"Now why would I think that?" he snapped. "You currently have no ship, no crew, and no responsibility at all save for this child. I understand perfectly why you wouldn't give him up! You'd be all alone if you did! And he's the only one that might still care about you right now!"

Kathryn felt her throat close as she listened to his words. She blinked back tears and said, "Well, now that I know how you really feel, I suppose I have no choice but to go with Q."

"Kathy, I knew you'd see the light!" Q said.

Chakotay put his hands on his hips. Taking a step, he said, "Listen. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry."

"I think it's exactly what you mean. I gave up my life for you, Chakotay. I gave up my family, my career, our future so you would go free and not suffer. But you never meant a word of what you said to me. It's all been one big game for you. One big lie. The Maquis must have missed you terribly when you got sent here with me. You're very good at deception, Commander. Excellent. I commend you on the job you did on me."

Chakotay clenched his fists. "I didn't do any job on you and I am not having this argument with you again! It's ridiculous. You know I love you. I begged Q to bring me here to you. If it was such a game, I wouldn't be here and you know it! I'm tired of this, Kathryn. Every time you need help, you reject it. You have no idea how much you are going to need me in the next few months. Let me be there for you! Let me be a father to this child!"

"Oh now you want to be a father to this baby?" she asked.

"Yes! More than anything. I want my family."

Q pulled Kathryn back and said, "I'm afraid that job is already taken. And had you played the cards you were supposed to play, you would have gotten your own child and your family. Now, you'll end up with nothing."

Chakotay flew into Q's face. "I won't let you take my family from me."

Q's smug smile returned. "You don't have a choice."

And with a snap of his finger, both he and Kathryn disappeared leaving Chakotay alone once again.

Chakotay found himself once again screaming for Q and demanding his return. He stalked the quarters and searched the empty ship looking for Kathryn. Finally, he made his way back to her quarters. As the door opened, he saw a tall redheaded woman filing her nails on the bed. She was dressed in a Starfleet uniform and rose as he walked in.

"Well, it's about time you came back. Tired of your pathetic ranting?"

"Who are you?" Chakotay said.

"I'm Q. You were looking for one, correct?"

Chakotay eyed her. "Another one?"

"I may not be who you wanted but I can get you back what you want just the same."

"You know where Kathryn is?"

"That silly girl." Lady Q sniffed. "It's absolutely ridiculous to think that this woman's baby will do anything to stop our war."

"You know about Q's plan?"

"Ridiculous, isn't it?"

"I don't care about Q's plan. I want Kathryn back. Now."

Lady Q crossed her arms. "Demanding bipedal species, aren't you?"

"Yes. Either bring her back or take me to her. Please."

Lady Q smiled. "You care about her, don't you?"

Chakotay's eyes pleaded. "I love her. Please help me get her back."

"Gladly."

Chakotay grinned. "I'm not even going to question it. Can you just snap your fingers and bring her back here?"

Lady Q looked out the window. "I could but I want him to suffer first."

"Him?"

"Q."

"I see," Chakotay said. "Are you and Q…?"

"Involved?" Lady Q shrugged. "Yes, for about a billion years. And to think he's thrown it all away for some inferior being who is in the process of procreating. It's positively obscene."

Chakotay nodded. "I agree. A billion years is nothing to sneeze at."

Lady Q turned back and said, "Don't humor me. I said I'd get your captain back and I will. But first, Q needs to learn a lesson."

Chakotay tugged at his ear. "How about we get Kathryn out of the Q crosshairs and then you two can have at each other?"

Lady Q smiled. "And where would the fun be in that?" She pointed and said, "Follow, watch, and learn."

With a snap of her fingers, they both disappeared.

Kathryn looked around at the posh living room of the old antebellum mansion she had been brought to. She found it hard to breathe in the corset of the ornate ball gown she was dressed in to match the period. "Q!"

"You screamed?" Q walked around the corner from a dark hallway dressed in an antique gentleman's suit.

Kathryn jumped as explosions sounded from outside the bay window. "What is going on? Where are we?"

"You are in the Continuum. I am simply allowing you to perceive it in a way your mind can understand."

"This is the War between the States in North America from Earth's ancient history. The Continuum is really in the midst of tearing itself apart?"

A pane of glass from the window shattered and several bits of shrapnel flew into the room. Q grabbed Kathryn and threw her the ground. He landed on top of her and a bullet pierced his arm. He rolled over in pain and Kathryn was stunned to see blood running from his wound.

Gingerly, she touched it and Q winced. "Did they hurt you?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, we're fine."

"We? I'm not fine. I'm dying here." He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Oh you meant the kid."

Kathryn tore a bit of her dress to apply to his wound. She ignored his hiss of pain as she pressed down and said, "I thought this child meant everything to you."

"He does. Do you not see the bloodshed that is going on around here? Your child will end it."

"You're correct about one thing. It is my child and he or she is a baby. Babies don't end wars, save unions, or become messengers of any type of peace."

"Several religious organizations from your culture would beg to differ."

"That's different."

"How is that different?" Q asked.

Kathryn wrapped his wound and sat back. "Q, you're going to tell me now that the Continuum has found religion too?"

Q sat up and took her hand. "Kathy, this child can do so much more for me than for you. Give him to me. Let me give him a future any mother would dream of for her son."

"You want me to give over my baby so you can take him out into a battlefield? No mother wants to send her son off to war as an adult let alone as an infant!"

"But there wouldn't be one! Once I have their attention with a child, the entire Continuum will come together to foster this new life. It's an ingenious plan!"

Kathryn shook her head. "So you plan to distract them from fighting with a baby? What are you going to do? Hold him up in the middle of the warzone? Just how long do you think that will hold their attention?"

"How long do you think your child will hold yours?"

She looked at him and said firmly, "Until the day I die."

"But Qs never die. Think of it. Your child will be loved forever."

Kathryn's shoulders dropped as she smiled and looked over at the shattered glass. "Q, that's a lovely sentiment. I suspect the Continuum would have a wealth of knowledge to share and endless learning opportunities for themselves from a new life form like a human child."

"The Q? Learn?" Q laughed. "Why, it's the child who will learn from us, dear Kathy. He will know things you've never even dreamed possible. The entire universe will be his playground. Come on. Isn't it slightly tempting?"

She took a deep breath and said, "Q, I'd be lying if I said no but, if you don't think a child will teach you just as much as you teach him, then you haven't the faintest idea of what being a parent is all about."

"True but you don't either. I may need you to pop in now and again when I have some trouble with the tyke. Straighten him out when he needs a little discipline or humanity."

Kathryn scooted back and said, "I am not giving up my child to you, Q. You'll have to find another way."

Q drew closer and said, "I don't have to find another way. I already have exactly what I need right in front of me."

"I'm warning you," Kathryn said.

"Warning me, Kathy? That's almost laughable." He watched her survey the room and added, "Don't bother. Everything is locked. This is my realm you're in now. Not yours."

She looked into his eyes and said, "Q, please! Is there not a female Q that you could accomplish this with?"

"My thoughts exactly."

Kathryn jumped at the strange voice. A red haired female wearing a Starfleet dress uniform stood behind them next to Chakotay. Chakotay rushed over and helped her stand.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

"Yes," she said.

"How touching," Lady Q said. She looked down at Q and said, "And you were going to tear this happy family apart."

"Q!" Q tried to imitate Chakotay's concern by jumping up but Lady Q pushed him away. "Oh dearest, I knew you'd find me. You were the only one I left a key for."

"Yes, well, you were the only one I shot. Next time, I'll aim lower." She ignored Q's mock look of horror and huffed. "Don't give me that. I figured you were out and about trying to end a war you created. But, taking up with this human after we've had two billion years of devotion, this is beyond insane, even for you."

"And you love that about me! I forgive you for the bloodshed." Q tried his best to hug her again but she brushed him off.

Kathryn stepped forward and said, "I'm Kathryn Janeway. And you are?"

Lady Q looked down her nose. "I know who you are."

"Then you also know why your Q brought me here."

The disdain grew on her face. "It's foul."

"I agree. I want my child. It makes no sense for the Q to take a child that isn't even biologically related to them and try to pass him off as some type of savior."

"Savior?"

Q bent to Lady Q's ear and said, "Think of it, Q. You and I would be the parents of peace! Visionaries amidst the other riff raff in the Continuum."

"But it's not our child, Q. It's not even…Q."

Q stood and said, "Well to do that, you and I would have to…well, I never considered mating with another Q. Do you want to have the child?"

Lady Q whirled around and slapped Q in the face. "We are not a common species! How dare you!"

Q rubbed his sore cheek and said, "Well, my point exactly! Now you see why I have her! She already has what we need. All we have to do is take the child, make a few biological tweaks and voila! Our very own Q!"

Lady Q thought a moment before a wide grin spread across her face. "That is ingenious, isn't it?"

"I knew you'd see the inspired genius in me!" Q said.

Lady Q glanced at Kathryn as Chakotay put his arms around and drew her back to him. "Just how do you propose we do this, Q?"

"Well, I was thinking," Q said. He whispered the rest in her ear.

Lady Q smirked and stepped back. Touching her finger to his, she said, "Do it."

"No!" Chakotay said.

Their fingers glowed a moment until Q said, "I was good, wasn't I?"

"Amazing," she replied.

Chakotay gripped Kathryn tight and said, "What did you do? You are not touching her or this child."

"Did you see me lay a finger on her? Besides, it's all done," Q said.

Kathryn had felt nothing but placed her hand against her stomach. "What did you do, Q?"

Q smiled. "Relax. I've fixed everything."

"What did you just do?" Chakotay demanded.

"Temper, temper," Q said. "Oh and don't worry, Kathy. I made sure that your child doesn't have that ridiculous marking on its face."

Kathryn tried to move forward but Chakotay still held her back. "Q, what did you do to my child?" she asked.

A young adolescent boy emerged from the hallway Q had first appeared from. He stopped and stared at the group. He was a tall boy who looked to be a human adolescent in his early teens. He had Q's features but Lady Q's coloring.

Q threw out his hands and said, "Son!" He embraced the boy and then turned to Lady Q. "Look, Q, our son!"

Lady Q eyed the boy and said, "Wonderful. You take care of him now." And with a snap of her fingers she was gone.

Kathryn stared at the boy and tried to find any part of her in him. "You took my child," she said.

Q placed his arm over the boy's shoulder and said, "I most certainly did not. I borrowed your child as a template for mine. Don't worry. I put it back."

"You what?" Chakotay said.

"Never mind. You wouldn't understand."

"Try me," Chakotay demanded. "Is that Kathryn's son?"

Q pointed a finger in the air. "This boy is Q and nothing less!"

"You better start explaining now," Chakotay said.

Q dropped his hand and said, "Well, in the most basic terms, I initially thought I needed a species capable of procreating since we Q have never done it. But, since Kathy had already done the nasty part of actually mating with another, I just borrowed her child's framework, substituted our Qness and now, I am a parent of my very own son. Congratulate me!"

"Q, is that Kathryn's unborn child or not?" Chakotay said.

Q frowned and said, "Not. Really, Kathy, I don't think I did you a favor in changing the paternity of your baby to this one's gene pool."

Kathryn's head was spinning and she placed a hand to her head. Pulling away from Chakotay, she said, "Q, are you saying you cloned my child's physical structure and created this being in your own likeness?"

"Exactly!" Glancing at Chakotay, he said, "You see, she gets it. Really, Kathy, you are mating way over your head. I would strongly consider that if you plan on having any more children with him."

Kathryn looked at the young boy who was taking it all in with rapt attention and smiled. She nodded and said, "Welcome, Q."

He smiled back and said, "Thank you, Aunt Kathy."

"Aunt Kathy!" Q said. "You see, I taught him manners already."

She looked back at Q and said, "Then my child is still here? Unharmed?" She pressed a hand to her stomach.

"Of course. You don't see him anywhere, do you? I'm afraid you'll have to bring him or her into the world yourself."

Chakotay looked between them and said, "What did you mean about changing paternity?"

Kathryn added, "You made my child fully human?"

"Well, I do think the Kazon are a very unattractive race much like yourself especially when you spatter war paint all over yourself." Q gave a nod at Chakotay. "Still, you find him attractive, Kathy, so think of it as a thank you for all your help."

Tears sprung into Kathryn eyes. "You, you made this child mine and Chakotay's just as it should have been?"

Q winked. "You're welcome."

"Q, I…"

Q put a hand up and said, "Don't thank me yet. Now that I'm a parent, I get that no child should have to suffer for the sins of their parents." He looked at his son and said, "We'll talk about my past but I'm going to fix one thing for you right now." Q raised a hand and then stopped. He looked at Kathryn and Chakotay and said, "I'm afraid I am going to have to restore the Continuum to its previous state before the war. That means you'll be returned to your previous states too."

"What does that mean?" Chakotay said.

"It means you'll be back to the point in time where we first met. All of you."

Kathryn's smile faded. "You mean you're stranding us in the Delta Quadrant again."

"I'm afraid it's necessary to protect my boy from the ravages of war but don't worry. Your kid's new DNA will stick."

Q raised his hand again until Kathryn said, "Wait! I know I've asked this of you before but you're pulling the crew away from their families again."

Q smiled. "Don't worry. It will all be a lovely dream except for the two of you. Good Luck, Kathy. You and that kid are going to need it for what awaits you out there on your journey home."

Kathryn gave him a small smile and said, "Thank you, Q."

Q nodded and Kathryn heard his fingers snap before she found herself back on Voyager's bridge. She looked over at Chakotay's chair but it was empty. "Chakotay!" she yelled.

The bridge crew jumped at her unexpected outburst and Chakotay came running out of the ready room. He stopped and beamed at her with a large grin.

"Guess I'm getting ready to win that big pool," Tom said quietly.

Kathryn's face went red and she spun around to the helm. "Did you have something to report, Mr. Paris?"

Tom's grin dropped. "No, ma'am. Just an asteroid field I'm getting ready to navigate through."

"Then do it, quietly."

"Aye, Captain."

Janeway walked up to Chakotay and said, "Commander, I need to see you in my ready room." She ignored the side glances and whispers as she walked into the office.

Chakotay followed and waited for the door to close before he said, "When are we going to tell the crew about our baby?"

Janeway opened a desk drawer and drew out a medical tricorder. She scanned herself and read the report. Tears clouded her vision once more as she said, "Oh Chakotay, it's true. This is your baby."

A flash of light appeared. "Did I not tell you that already? Honestly, Kathy, he's beginning to rub off on you. Think of your life when you have two of them."

Kathryn and Chakotay looked over at Q who sat perched on the sofa. Chakotay walked over and extended his hand and said, "Thank you, Q. Thank you for giving me back my family."

Q looked warily at the extended hand and nodded. He stood up and walked over to Kathryn. "I just came to tell you that Junior is quite the curiosity in the Continuum."

"So your plan worked?" she said.

"Yes. I knew it would. It is the brilliance that is the Q. He will distract them from any untoward acts by any Q for quite some time. I actually plan to take advantage of that. "

Kathy smiled. "Then why are you here?"

A padd flashed into Q's hand and he handed it to her. "A little shortcut to help you on your journey. Think of it as a bonus. I'm feeling extra generous today."

Kathryn scanned it and said, "I appreciate this, Q. I'd like my mother and sister and Chakotay's family to meet my child one day."

Q sat on her desk and said, "Yes, well, hold that thought. You may be envisioning a delight of a child but you may rethink that when Junior gets into where he doesn't belong, doesn't listen, is disrespectful, lazy and downright annoying."

Kathryn tried her best to stifle her laughter as she watched Chakotay turn away to control his. Clearing her throat, she said, "Sounds like he's a child, Q. And a chip off the old block."

"A what?"

"Ancient Earth expression. It means he's just like you."

"Oh." Q smiled and said, "Yes, he is. He is just like….wait a minute."

Kathryn laughed and patted his shoulder. "And you know what that child really needs?"

"What?"

"Love along with discipline and, most importantly, parental supervision. Now go!"

"Supervision? Discipline? I always hated those words. I may have to bring Junior to spend some time with you to learn these things. They are your specialty after all."

She patted him again and said, "Please, not until I have some experience of my own. I'm a little busy right now."

"Hmmm, yes. Okay. But I will tell Q that a visit to his Aunt Kathy's is definitely in the cards if he doesn't straighten up."

Kathryn nodded. "Tell him I'll throw him in the brig."

"Brig. How quaint. As if one of your primitive confinement spaces could contain a Q."

"It would if you took away his powers for a bit."

Q grabbed her and planted a kiss on her mouth. "Kathy, you're a genius! You're going to make a wonderful mother!"

Kathryn wiped her hand across her mouth and watched as Q snapped his fingers and disappeared.

Chakotay walked over and took her in his arms. He kissed her and said, "I think I'm a little jealous."

"Chakotay, I'm pregnant with your child. You win."

Chakotay smiled and kissed her again. "I do agree with him. You are going to make a wonderful mother."

Kathryn smiled and ran her hand across his forehead. "And you are going to make a wonderful father but I'm afraid I don't agree with Q."

Chakotay drew back a bit. "What? Kathryn, you will be the best mother any child could ever have."

She ran her hand across his face tracing his tattoo. "Oh I know. I meant I like your tattoo. I think it makes you look very handsome. And I hope, one day, our child chooses to honor you and your tribe the same way you honored your ancestors."

Chakotay swallowed hard. "Thank you," he said. "I hope so too."

Kathryn pulled his face to hers and they kissed as they held each other in a tight embrace as Voyager sped them on the way towards home.


End file.
